Today I wasn’t sure what to write about, I’ve felt a little foggy and unmotivated. I’m attributing that to the fact that it was cloudy and rainy. I did have physical therapy this evening though, and thought that I would give a little update on that if you’ve been following my post-accident journey. I think it was a couple months ago now that I talked about how I needed to really step back and focus on healing and not push myself so hard. It was after the Panama City fiasco where I hurt my back for the second time. I realized after that, that I was thinking too big and needed to reel it in and focus on what was in front of me. I was getting antsy and just wanted to get back to doing things that I used to be able to do and I ended up pushing myself too hard and that kept resulting in injury. Then before that injury could really fully heal, I pushed myself again because I was feeling better, then I would get hurt again, and it turned into a vicious cycle.
I realized that despite the fact that it meant more time, and patience, I needed to just relax and let the process happen more naturally. I needed to let those injuries heal, and then when I could, work on getting stronger more slowly. I’m used to being able to bounce back quickly from injuries, but this time around they were more severe and there were more of them and also the circumstances around healing was different as well. I use my arms for everything; it’s how I transfer in and out of my chair and not being able to use my arm for three months made my core and upper body significantly weaker. Losing those muscles happens a lot quicker than building them back up.
So here we are almost nine (nine?!) months post-accident and I am still working on getting back my basic mobility. I was talking to my physical therapist today about how it’s only in the last couple of weeks that I’ve really started to notice some major improvements. My arms are definitely getting stronger. It’s easier for me to adjust myself when I’m sitting in my chair, and I feel like I am able to tolerate a lot more weight when I get out of my chair and have to pull myself into the bed. I still rely on my mom’s help though, but at least it only requires one person and not two in order to get out of my chair. My legs have a lot more free motion and it doesn’t hurt as much when I do move them. I still have a lot of stiffness in my knees and it does hurt if I bend them too far. But moving them is easier and they feel stronger. I still have consistent pain, but most of the time it’s tolerable, without the need for Advil. However, there are still days where all of this improvement is replaced with aches and pains that make moving around very difficult.
Sometimes it scares me when there are too many good days or when I start thinking that I’m getting better. It just seems like every time that I do I get set back. I just want to get to a place where I don’t feel like things are so unstable, you know?But I am pretty happy with the fact that I have been able to take this time to slow down more and work slowly toward getting stronger, because it seems to be working for now.
That’s all for this one. Thank you so much for reading!
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Until Next Time,