I seriously considered skipping today. I’ve had a situation in my life, in addition to the crap that I’m already dealing with as far as my injuries, that has just made me want to curl up and forget about the world. It’s one that has made me angry and hurt and has given me an all around uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. When things get like this, my go-to is sleeping. If my anxiety is high, I sleep. If there are too many stressors happening around me, I sleep. I know that’s not exactly healthy, but most coping mechanisms aren’t, and sleeping is mine.
Today my grandmother came over and talked to me, and then to my sister. But first, she just listened. It’s such an easy concept but one that we so often overlook the power of. Sometimes we just need someone to sit with us and listen. Just get out everything that you are feeling, so that it is no longer inside of you. Without interruption. Then the best thing for the other person to say is, “That sucks. The way you are feeling is valid and you have the right to feel upset. Now let’s think of a solution or a way to move on from it.” But when we don’t feel like we are heard, that’s when we get frustrated, and then tend to get louder because maybe if we turn up the volume they’ll hear us better. But the other person tends to shut down if you get too loud, because the higher the volume, the less clear it is the things that we are saying. It’s a vicious, unproductive cycle.
I just want to say it again because it is so true, there is power in just listening. I know there are some people out there that mean well and just want to help by trying to “fix” things. But sometimes that hurts more. It hurts when they try to lessen how you’re feeling by trying to glaze over or change the subject by lightening the mood or making a joke. It makes it seem like your feelings are not serious. No one gets to make your feelings insignificant. No matter what they think they know of you and your situation, you deserve to be heard. Always. Your feelings are valid whether someone else recognizes that or not.
I was scrolling through Pinterest and I came across the following post and felt like it really fit the situation I’m in the middle of very well. I just want to amend that no one, inside or outside of the situation, gets to decide if you are hurt or not.
Until Next Time,